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The more we want something, the more we are likely to sabotage ourselves and cause it to go wrong. This is a primary and almost instinctive reaction, which makes the fear of failure become a tendency capable of recreating and fulfilling everything that we do not want to do, as a reflection of what we do not get out of our heads.
If you are looking for a partner and have already gone through several unsuccessful dates, you may start to compare meeting new people with what you experience in a job interview. In a way, it is a situation in which you put yourself to the test, and at the same time, you demand that the person in front of you offer you something that may be worthwhile.
The First Tip: Lower Expectations
First Date Advice: Meeting another person and letting yourself be known is an exercise in virtuosity that, on the first date, seems to be influenced by chance and moods. For your body language to be optimal and your confidence to grow, a good formula is to drastically reduce expectations, and keep in mind that date is nothing more than a date.
When we become obsessed with something going well, we can spoil the result by putting too much meat on the grill and transmitting insecurity or an excess of passion. For this reason, if you base your attention on going step by step, without putting one foot forward or jumping from the position you occupy, you will go further and with greater security on the path of meeting the other person.
The atmosphere is everything.
First Date Advice: Although being spontaneous is a plus point, it is much more useful to work on the appointment atmosphere a bit and take into account where you will see each other. If the place is excessively noisy or very crowded, you may not see or understand each other well. The atmosphere of the first date is very important. Think first in which situations are most favorable for you so that you feel more comfortable.
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Your mind can turn to the closest thing to your first date: the last. But that’s a lousy idea. Comparing this quote with others can have a good purpose, which would perhaps be to praise the person, but the shot will likely backfire on you. It is not convenient to compare your current date with your ex or with other people, mostly because no one wants to know, on a first date, how many people you have been with previously and what they are like. They want to meet you, not others.
We are not talking about you getting on the train of self-centeredness. Rather, you seek a balance to value that not everyone interested in you is valid to share your life and that a little discretion is necessary. With low self-esteem, you will feel lucky or lucky with the simple fact that someone notices you; on the other hand, with good self-esteem, you will know what you are worth and what you deserve to choose your partner.
The search for a partner shouldn’t become an obsession or your main goal; in this way, you will only get frustrated if you do not find what you are looking for. Live your life centered on yourself; the rest comes alone.